Before I fell into a debilitating depression, I was inspired to create a group where people could share their troubles and pains and insecurities in a nonjudgmental environment, the way it's done in 12-step meetings. I hope this can be that place for you, for me, and for anyone. My psychiatrist says I'm too hard on myself. Isn't that what yours says too?

Anyway, here's my story.

She was my girlfriend for over a year, and boy what a girlfriend she was. We were perfect for each other except for a little detail called personal time. We couldn't find the right balance of spending quality time together without compromising our core beliefs, so we broke up. The freedom and spiritual growth I experienced as I mourned the "loss" of my beloved was incredible. I had finally reached the next level of spiritual awareness, I had finally found my true self, and he was beautiful. I had never felt so free and alive and invincible and creative and innocent. Then came my mistake; living without talking to her was driving me nuts, so I got back in touch with her. Before I knew it, we were arguing about something and all the freedom and joy I had felt disappeared. The tears I had cried came right back and lodged themselves within my body, stuck emotions. I tried for weeks to cry them all back out again, but the grief just kept returning, each time weighing a little heavier on my soul. I was falling spiritually and began to panic. I tried to forgive myself for not being able to fully let go of her, but felt unworthy of forgiveness and pushed it away as soon as it was granted to me. I repeated this process many times, spiraling downward as my chakras imploded and my heart turned to stone. About a month after the breakup, I checked myself into a mental hospital because I thought I'd turned completely evil. I've just begun my recovery, because I sure as shit am not half the man I once was, and not a hundredth the man I could have been.

Can you forgive me?